QUESTION: I got married at 16 and divorced at 21. I was young, dumb and naive when it came down to court stuff. The long story short I was nickle and dimed out of court and my kid's dad (convicted felon) was granted custody. I disappeared out of confusion, guilt, shame, lack of funds and support (streams back to my own abusive childhood and I now suffer in my adult life from post traumatic stress, anxiety, and social phobias, none of which make me incapable of caring for another human being, especially my children. Now 9 years later, my 14 year old contacted me. What are her and my rights in order to rebuild our relationship? Neither my daughter nor my 10 year old son live with their dad (my 13 year old does, but his dad refuses to let him see me). I wasn't denied custody due to abuse or neglect. I was a scared teen, then intimidated. And yes I should have come forward before my 14 year old daughter found me online, but it's obvious my children want to work on our relationship. The kids eventually get curious. So my question is (they are 14, 13, & 10), what are our rights or with needs to be done so my kids (who are old enough now to know what they want) and I can rebuild what we missed out over the last 9 years. I don't think it should be up to him to punish me for being a coward at that young age. If my kids forgave me then that's what matters! The 14 year old and 10 year old have always lived with their father’s parents (who helped me reunite and visit with the two children living with them until their dad found out). My 13 year old daughter lives with the dad and his new two kids; I was told by my oldest daughter that my 13 year old wants to see me. She is just nervous and scared to tell her dad. I don't want to take them away or anything. I just want to be able to see the kids when the kids want to see me, without chaos or drama. They should have that right. I'm going to try 1 last thing. Hopefully a letter and me addressing him directly helps but if not, out of his own pain and selfishness, what should be my next move? Do I even have rights? The kids should, but do they?
MY RESPONSE: File an Order to Show Cause in the Paternity case seeking to modify child custody and visitation. You would best at least consult, if not retain an experienced Family Law Attorney to represent you. You may qualify for an attorney's fee order on your behalf in the Paternity case. The Court may allow the children to express their desires and preferences in connection with child custody and visitation.
This educational blog is brought to you by DONALD F. CONVISER, an effective and aggressive Los Angeles Family Law Attorney and Divorce Lawyer serving clients in the courts of Los Angeles and Ventura County for over 35 years,owner of Warner Center Law Offices, with offices in Woodland Hills and Century City. Call 888.632.4447 or 818.880.8990 for a free confidential consultation with a Certified Family Law Specialist to discuss your divorce or family law issues. | www.conviser.net | www.conviserfamilylaw.com |
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