QUESTION: My husband’s name is on all of our household bills. I want to separate but remain in our home. I have a 17 year old son. Can I ask my husband for a separation, but still remain in our home?
MY RESPONSE: You don't need to move, and you don't need to "ask for a separation", but if you want to separate from your husband, you need to manifest to your husband that the marriage is over and that you have no intention to resume the marriage - best to do so with a letter that you keep a copy of, and sleep in a different room from the room your husband sleeps in. The letter will establish the date of separation. An important consideration for you to be aware of is that after the date of separation, each party's earnings will be the separate property of the party earning those earnings, whereas during the marriage and prior to separation, each party's earnings are community property. If you separate from your husband, yet continue to live in the same house with him, why don't you divorce him? It generally takes about a year or so to complete divorce proceedings, and your question makes it fairly apparent that the marriage is over. I assume that the reasons why you wish to remain in the family home would include economic reasons and continuity of your son’s lifestyle for the balance of high school. Unless there is domestic violence, you and your son can continue to reside in the same home with your husband during the divorce proceedings. If there is domestic violence or any threat of harm, you may qualify for Domestic Violence Restraining Orders, which could exclude your husband from your home.
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